CJs Daddy

I’ve sorta pledged to keep my blog mostly a positive place.  A place to recount for friends, family, fellow bloggers to peek into the process of becoming CJ’s Daddy through this amazing process of adoption.

But, I have occasionally given some more serious toned commentary, particularly about CJ’s homeland and her family there.  Now, I feel the need to address a much broader issue - Guatemala adoptions in general.  I had planned to mention this issue in a low key manner, but there’s been too much press lately for me not to say a bit more.  Here’s the background.

Adoption is a very complicated process - legally, and in family dynamics (both in relinquishment and adoption).  In any kind of adoption, there are opportunities for heartbreak and corruption.  I’m not going to mince words here, bad things can happen.

Guatemala is considering reforms to their system, and in fact must enact some kinds of reforms soon.  These are required under the Hague treaty on international adoptions.  Once the US fully enacts the treaty, Guatemala will be required to, or adoptions will no longer be processed - and visa versa.  This could take place early next year, so we are confident that our case will not be impacted, but the possibility of problems does still exist.  Meanwhile many people I know personally have cases pending that could be in limbo if something happens.   No one knows specifically how and when all of this will be changed.

As I’ve said many times, we are doing everything in our power to ensure that our process is completely legal and ethical, and our agency is doing the same thing.  But there’s been a lot of negative press (check out NPR) lately about Guatemalan adoptions, and I’ve been asked about it both in person and online.  Many of these reports have been exasperated by generalizations from UNICEF officials, or sensationalized stories that put all adoptions into question.  OK, so it’s not all that surprising that the press would be duped or run a one-sided story, but here’s my take on what’s been publicized.

First, adopting from Guatemala is quite simply the most difficult thing I’ve had to endure as an adult.  We had to expose ourselves personally and financially in ways that I never imagined.   The requirements put forth by our agency and the 2 governments involved are strenuous, but doable.  But then I hear on the radio a report that included an outlandish statement from UNICEF talking about how the process is easy.  What the?

You see, UNICEF views the Hague as a means to halt international adoptions, as if this is somehow better for children to spend their lives in orphanages or on the street.  To be honest with you, I’d prefer for international adoptions to end as well, but only when they become unnecessary.  Let me put it this way.  Kids should ideally stay with their families, but when that’s not possible, other families are waiting for them.  Is there corruption?  Of course (see below).  But the system can be fixed and policed without making kids suffer.  Both governments (and UNICEF) for that matter, know where the problems exist, and simply ending adoptions won’t really solve them.

Then on the other hand, I see a lot of adoptive parents and agencies turning a blind eye to the problems that stare them in the face.  Validating the ethical process of an agency came as second nature to me (in fact our agency’s process is partly what convinced me international was the way to go).  But, I’ve seen message board and blog posts where parents freely expose how they suspected a problem, but are afraid to say anything.  In fact, in the recent NPR story, an adopting couple tells the reporter they haven’t done anything really to ensure their baby’s adoption was ethical.  Even worse, one time I saw a parent mention that she had paid extra to “grease the wheels of referrals”.  Another talks openly about meeting people in Guatemala who can give you “extra help” if you catch her drift.  I met a lady myself at the hotel during our visit trip who ensured me that we’d be back to get Carmen in a month, because she’s already the same age as her daughter, who was going home the next day.  Unbelievable - but in plain sight!!!  Do not put my adoption and those of so many loving parents at risk because you want to cut corners and the authorities do not have the will to stop you!  Can you tell I’m a bit angry about all of this?

There are controls in place and steps parents and agencies can take to ensure an ethical process, and most good agencies comply with higher standards than anyone is arguing for now anyway.  My concern is that the press and UNICEF are creating a damaging image.  One that is not healthy for adopted children in general, specifically from Guatemala.  Consider how much press illegal immigration receives.  Now consider the image this creates toward your local immigrant community.  The same will be true for a generation of kids, a vast majority of whom were joined with their families in a loving and ethical manner.  I could go on and on about how negative the media generally portrays adoption - focusing on horror stories, expenses, and celebrities.  If the only lasting image for international adoption is one of baby selling and corruption, how are the children being protected by this exactly?

OK, now back to your regularly scheduled happy go lucky programming.

Posted on September 25th, 2007 by CJs Daddy
Filed under: Adoption, Guatemala