CJs Daddy

Geez, I realize I’m the least reliable blogger around, but I’m going to attempt to get back into this more regularly, and with any luck start posting some more food blogs as well.  I’ve gotten back into reading foodie blogs, so perhaps I’ll update my links to include some of those places.  When it comes to blogging, I think I’m overly ambitous.  I think about what it is I want to say for a long time, then the process of unpacking my thoughts becomes overwhelming and I think about having to set aside hours at a time to express myself properly. When in reality - I need not be so concerned - it’s perfectly normal for a blog to be a series of small thoughts, rather than an entire essay. I’m going to take some tips from other bloggers out there any perhaps start using the “theme days” like wordless Wednesday - where I just post a photo, and Friday Update, etc.

Anyway - it’s not like I generate a huge amount of traffic, but I do notice that quite a few people pop in once a day for just a few seconds, clearly hoping to find something new.   And when I post something on a message board or comment on a blog - that always generates some hits.  Regardless here it goes…

1. Why are you so busy? The answer to that my friends is very broad. Part of it is the simple fact that much of the time I’d previously spent blogging is now better spent with my family, or at least keeping up with work so I can still have time with my family.  In other words, it’s a lot harder in my mind to justify spending 45 minutes of my lunchtime blogging when I could be working through lunch and finding my way home at a decent hour, KWIM?
2. What else is keeping you busy? The second reason is a little more involved - we call it the Hub of Hope.  It’s a pantry that serves food and toiletries to families in the Northeast section of Reading.  We opened up back in March and through a few peeks and valleys are now serving about 30 families each week!  That’s right - 30 families.  The effort was originally spearheaded by our fabulous former Student Pastor (you know who you are!) as part of an effort to find a way to have a positive impact on our community.  For those of you not from my area, Reading is an old industrial city that is finding it’s way and it’s place in the modern economy.   We’re often ignored even within the state that is anchored by two large cities on either side and comprises of 15 cities of 40K or more.  Reading is actually 5th largest - bigger than Harrisburg, Lancaster, and Scranton.  Reading is a city in flux, with downtrodden neighborhoods on the upswing (in my opinion) with newcomers from Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, Mexico, and other parts of the Carribean and Latin America.  In actuality, many of the people I’ve met lived in Philadelphia or New York before setting in Reading.  The city’s population has grown as a result, which has been amazing to watch in just the last 10 years.  But with growth and change, things are still in flux, both newer and long time resident families find it difficult to make ends meet as the area’s unemployment rate has been somewhat higher than the state average, even during the late 90s and mid-00’s booms.  So, our pantry helps to fill in the gaps for many families, some of them for several weeks straight, and others for just a week as they wait for their first paycheck or first unemployment check.   We also serve a monthly free community meal that really is starting to gain a reputation.  Our ministry is designed specifically to show respect and dignity to those we serve by allowing them to choose their own items from our shelves, and by sharing dinner off of real dishes and silverwear.  So, it’s been a wild ride and a lot of hard work, but we’ve got an awesome group of volunteers and a congregation and community that supports us through material and spiritual means.
3. Ok, so now that I know what you’ve been up to, how’s the litte biscuit cheeks - that’s the real reason I visit your blog!  Ha, yah, I hear ya.  My little baby sweet cakes is doing fantastic.  More on that as I progress through the FAQ, but I can tell you that the kid is growing by leaps and bounds both in size and development.  She absolutely has the makings of a sweet but sassy little girl.  I would not call her strong willed or outright stubborn - I’m not sure what to call it.  She’s totally sweet and friendly, but she will occasionally get in mood where she just doesn’t want the attention she’s getting.   She loves to grab a book and cuddle up for story time, but she also isn’t too appreciative when it’s time to put the books away.  The funny (and yes - cute) thing is that she actually seems to understand when she may have crossed a line in terms of attittude, which is why I’m not sure I’d call her strong willed.  For instance - when told not to touch something - if we are the least bit casual about how we express that - she’ll do that thing where she touches it lightly one more time and looks at us for disaproval.  But it really only takes one more stern “talking to” in order for her to do the right thing.  After that, the sweetness rolls back in where she will actually anticipate times when she needs to back away (such as when the oven door is opened) and will declare to the rest of us “danger”.
4. Is she talking yet? Yah, well sorta.  I would not say she’s talking a whole lot, but she has a few words and key “blabbers” that make sense.  She tends to say some variation or “dadda” for quite a few words, including the afore mentioned danger - which comes out like a muffled “danda”.  Thank you and Amen sound pretty similar as well.  Other commonly words that she’s gotten the hang of lately include Mama, Mom-Mom, Pop-Pop, Gampa, Eyyeee (our cat - Ellie), and Yah.  That one is totally our fault.  Even in polite conversation, we adults tend to us that regularly.  It’s generally not considered rude these days to response “yah” to just about anyone.  Maybe it should be?
5. Will she speak English or Spanish? I’m not kidding you - we still get this question regularly.  When adoptive parent of Latino kids told us this would happen, I thought they were exaggerating or kidding with me. It’s no joke - people ask.  I usually just smile and say well, speechis developed through interacting with people who already speak a particular language, so she will learn English first, but we anticipate our family learning Spanish over some period of time.
6. And she still eats well? Scroll down for picture evidence.  Let’s just say she isn’t allowed to spit food out of her mouth, and rarely tries.  I’m not saying we force feed her, but it helps her get used to stuff faster and learn to like it.  The latest yummies?  Fried Fish and French Onion Soup.
7. Is she fully attached? Well, you see that’s not quite the right question, as attachment is an ongoing proces.  There’s no point in time where we say - yep - she’s attached - nothing more to do here.  But still, adoptive parents who practice attachment parenting have a lot of techniques at their disposal and most of them are geared toward the first weeks and months with a new family.   I won’t rehash everything here, but let’s just say, we are doign well and really no longer have to do the same things we used to.  That said, we are on the lookout for conerns that crop up, and the Red-Head and I tend to keep an eye on her mood in certain situations even more closely that the average parents.   Other than that, we are not actively practicing anything specifically geard toward attachment, with the possible exception of not leaving her alone with anyone for more than a few minutes at a time, and not actually placing her in a “baby-sitter” situation yet.  Mom-Mom & Pop-Pop have offered to give us a start on that by watching her for a few hours while we go shopping or out to eat.  She’s pretty comfy there - so we may just take them up on the offer.
8. What do you think about the Presidential Election? Well, it’s indeed an historic moment for our country and something that (as Bill Bennet said) could only happen in America.  Even if he fails as President, Obama can be a source of inspiration for all Americans.  As a parent to a little tiny Person of Color - I’m proud to live in a nation that through a fair and peaceful process elected a tall Person of Color. When CJ is 5 years old, I’ll more than likely be expressing the frustration with Obama as a president and politician, but she will see a man with brown skin in the highest office in the land.  And this is a good thing.  All that said, John McCain is an American hero and would have been a fine President. This was a weird election for me and I think a lot of people since it did not seem like a lesser of two evils situation as it usually does.  I respect both candidates immensely, and in the end - I voted for the person who most closely aligned with my point of view - but I can think of at least half a dozen politicians that I’d prefer politically speaking than either candidate.  While some of Obama’s connections and views on social issues trouble me - I do not see him as a corrupt man, even if he’s inexperienced.   I think at his core, he is too far left for me and too far left for this country, but time will tell how he governs.  Time will tell.
9. Since you brought it up - what’s up with the super-liberal links to those anti-racist web sites? OK, fine, I realize that some of what goes on at those blogs are awfully radical.  I get that. I will say that the other day, one of them had a post that led to some comments that were so full of vulgarities and general nastiness that I was pretty close to just unlinking them.  But, the moderator seems to gotten that under control, plus I think those places are full of information and insight that I just cannot find anywhere else.  As I said before, I think that some of what they discuss is a little far out there and I often disagree.  But I do believe in the concept of anti-racism and will attempt to live by it in all ways possible.  Racism still exists, and parents with children of color need to be prepared and prepare their family and friends for this.  When a blogger friend described her experience with another parent suggesting her AA daugher had hair like a brillo pad - you know we’ve still got some educating to do.  When I look through my local school district newsletter and see several shots of group teacher photos and not a single one of them was a minority,  I know there’s still progress to be made in both the education of and hiring of minorities.  Consider this comment about election day from Kay Cole James (a black conservative who worked for President Bush) :  “A day that began with approaching a polling place to volunteer and being ignored by the Republican worker, and being greeted warmly by the Democrat.“  Tell me then - where is the conservative anti-racist blog?  Conservitives, quite frankly tend to spend way too much time pointing out race baiters and calling out political correctness run amok.  These things are important (can’t get enough Malkin, right?), but so is a speciufic message of inclusion.  Of course, then there’s Ugly Black John - I really can’t figure him out at all but he’s always interesting.
10. How’s her motor and development skills? - ah back to more frilly stuff!  Let me just say that CJ’s motor skills seem to be progressing faster than her vocal skills.  She can do quite a bit with her hands and fingers, including threading a shoestring through a hole.  The other day, she actually pretended to feed her stuffed Curious George, and later in the week, the Red-Head tells me Carmen actually used George’s hands to operate one of her pop up toys!  Oh how I hate having to work for a living - mission all kinds of cuteness!
11. Any brother’s or sisters in the works? Still no news or progress to speak of there.  In short - yes, we expect our family to grow, but no - we don’t have anyting to reveal at this time.  That said, I do believe it only fititng that whatever course we follow, I expect we’ll be sharing our experiences and asking for ongoing prayers, just as we did with our adventure in bringing home CJ.

Posted on November 15th, 2008 by admin
Filed under: Uncategorized